my moods seem to be in full swing these days. up. down. short. patient. my head hurts. my heart aches so I can hardly breathe. I'm tired. I'm bright eyed. bushy-tailed. quite a range indeed.
my sister sent me this photo. our childhood home (early teen years - college) was demolished. after my mom died, daddy moved to Ohio near my sister. the house sold to the neighboring church. they were not good keepers. it fell into disrepair. and, yesterday, it happened. we knew it was coming. but, like she says, it's still a shock. part of my life lived in that house. my parent's dream home. now gone. sad.
talked with a dear friend who is battling cancer. she has finished her chemo regime. now possibly awaiting radiation. and they've discovered a new shadow on the scans. she's been through so much. she is strong. in faith. love. hope. I admire her so.
the hubs was cleared by his surgeon this week. still has to take it a bit easy. but all healed. bless him.
I am only a bystander in some things. a witness to life. so much going on around me I cannot control. inside me. however, I am raging. things to do. hands to hold. love lost. love to share. memories to hold onto. memories to make. hope to spread. joy to be had. such joy to be had.
'in this mob of I’s inside, which one is me? hear me out. I know I’m wandering, but don’t start putting a lid on this racket. no telling what I’ll do then. every moment I’m thrown by your story. one moment it’s happy, and I’m singing. one moment it’s sad, and I’m weeping. it turns bitter, and I pull away. but then you spill a little grace, and just like that, I’m all light. it’s not so bad, this arrangement, actually.'
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