dear diary

I hope I am not boring you with my recent onslaught of blog entries. I am feeling a bit chatty these days. and the funny thing is I don't even know who I am writing to. when I first started blogging it was more an experiment in keeping an electronic diary. but I have recently wondered ... is anybody out there?

I know at least two people read my humble words. thank you E and R. and E has just today linked my blog to her blog. so I wonder what domino effect that will have. I know that I so enjoy going to friends blogs and clicking through their links to discover an amazing world of creative and kind and interesting folks. simple tales and dramatic stories. talented and inspirational women (sorry guys, I'm sure you have blogs too) achieving and sharing their hopes and dreams. and all these words set amidst an array of beautifully crafted and graphically displayed electronic journals. what I see is pure bliss. not only for me (us) to enjoy. but for them (me) to share.

and the faith that abounds. soul drenching. mind boggling. unending. hitch your wagon to the stars. depth. breadth. width. life altering faith.

so if you're reading this ... thanks for listening. glad you stopped by. come again soon. invite me over. there's much we can learn from one another.

'thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. happiness never decreases by being shared.'

love baby

blame. admonish. chide. all ugly words. all words I am guilty of subscribing to. in the past year I have made a very conscious effort to be more positive, but me oh my, there are times that just don't cooperate with my new attitude. I can be rude. I can be ill-tempered. I can be downright mean. and each and every time I act in that fashion I immediately regret it. I ask for forgiveness and patience. I ask for others to have patience with me. but instead of seeking prayer to ease my bad nature. I need to ask myself why do I act irrationally. if I only stopped to think, looked before I leapt, counted to 10 (or maybe a wee bit higher) before I spoke. then I would be happier with myself. and, no doubt, others would be happier with me.

I subscribe to an e-newsletter called Vibrant Nation (which carries the enticing tagline 'what women 50+ know'). one of the featured stories was from The Art of Being Human and chronicled one woman's crusade to defeat negativity. this courageous woman blogged her way through a 90-day No Negativity Challenge. and quite effectively got a handle on the everyday, routine and unexpected, hubbub of life that irritates and frustrates. many parts of it hit home - probably a little too close to home. but what it made me realize is that we are so surrounded by negativity that we don't even hear it anymore. we just succumb to it. fall prey to it. get so swept up in it that we simply don't even see the need to take responsibility for our own actions.

it is very easy to blame others for the trials of our own life. and perhaps at times - no doubt many times - there is a catalyst that sets off a bad spell. that spell could last a moment as I lash out at a sales clerk. or weeks as I am in a funk about something that irritates me (or occasionally something my spouse has done). but what I need to remind myself of is that I can control how I deal with the situation. and if I keep passing on the blame to others the spell never fades. I need to take responsibility for myself and make the situation better by being more accepting. more appreciative. more giving. more loving. more honest. more open. kinder. gentler. more human in being.

blogger watermusic says it best when you're dealing with negativity in your life. 'Choose. The best thing about being human besides cowboys, sex, and chocolate is that every moment of everyday we get to choose. So choose, it’s either fear or love baby. I’m choosing love. What about you?'

I want to answer that right here and now. LOVE BABY.

'I beseech you, by all angels, to hold your peace, and not pollute the morning.' ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

mid-year review

my first blog of 2010 talked about getting into shape. I am pleased to say that I am making slow-but-sure progress.

physical. I have lost a few pounds ... not yet to my magic # 25, but thanks to Jillian Michaels and her 30-day shred - a good two pant sizes. which makes me very happy. and a recent trip to Talbots actually found me trying on size 6 capris. my heart lept with joy - too bad I ended up not liking the style. but oh the temptation to buy them just for the tag! 'the only cure for vanity is laughter.'

mental. I try to be a happy person. see the glass as half full. life has its ups and downs, but in general mine is on a steady incline. all those same wonderful influences are there. family. friends. work. love. laughter. 'happiness is not something ready made. it comes from your own actions.'

spiritual. my faith remains strong. I am thankful for my life and the love that surrounds me. God is great and I am blessed in every way. recently a long lunch and conversation with a friend unearthed that evasive goal. and a much sought-after mission to fill the void that was in me, turns out was in her as well! the anticipation of traveling with my friend fills me with joy. 'make a little garden out of life and walk down a path.'

I came across a few words that I keep before me to remind me to stay focused. keep a positive attitude. be more patient. they grace my day-planner, stick to my to-do list and follow me wherever I go.

'be curious. be confident. be kind.'

summer reading

I am ashamed to tell you that I do not read. of course, I know HOW to read. I just don't enjoy it. I don't read the newspaper. or any magazine (but I do love to look at the pretty pictures). or subscribe to any on-line publications to keep me informed about the world. the written word bored me. the mere sight of a paragraph literally made me yawn. but recently a strange thing has happened. I have developed a voracious appetite for books.

you could say I am slow but sure. not one to jump on the best seller bandwagon. for example, I put off reading the adventures of Harry Potter. and have in the past year devoured the series. just finished 'My Life in France' and could hear the shrill strains of Julia Child's voice on every page. I am now back to a few classics. oh the delight and artistry in the words of John Steinbeck. the imaginative characters of Doc and the boys in Cannery Row. and now eagerly turning the pages of the sequel, Sweet Thursday.

I can attribute my new found pasttime to a dear friend, so thank you for rekindling my reading spirit. and I ask my blogging friends to share their favorite titles with me to add to my reading list.

'he fed his spirit with the bread of books.'

hello goodbye

today marks the first anniversary of the passing of a friend.

today I will not grieve but celebrate his life.

today I am filled with joy for the time he shared. for his goodness and kindness and wisdom that remain all around me. for his faith that has made me stronger.

today I will share my smile.

'every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.'

designing women

to my great pleasure, I have discovered (okay, stumbled upon quite by accident) a new internet offering. the e magazine. now the combination of fabulous ideas and full color images are as close as a click of my finger and without the risk of a nasty papercut.

my favorites are design oriented. more than pretty images. these electronic pages show the talent of creative minds. not only through their room decor, but in the beautiful graphics laid out on the pages. life arranged. lovingly displayed. ours to mimic.

the magic begins at the lettered cottage 's screened inn (thank you R, for introducing me) and continues at lonny magazine, formerly Domino magazine.

and one designer, Sarah Richardson, I've been following for quite some time. her new show on HGTV, Sarah's House, is delightful.

'imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.'

pedal pusher

today is the first day of a glorious vicarious three-week vacation as I cycle through France. I love le Tour. the colorful commentary. the brilliant scenery. the athleticism. the teamwork. the drama. the dramatics. the hype. it all makes for a delightful trip.

I watch the live broadcast every morning. I watch the recap highlights every evening. I am drawn to the Versus channel like a moth to a flame. I add le Tour website to my favorites toolbar.

I keep my little notebook and pen handy to jot down favorite sites to add to my francophile list. for the draw of le Tour for me is not where Lance is placing. but the places he travels - mountainous. rural. urban. cobblestone. miles and miles and miles of rich history, beautiful architecture and stunning countryside. vive le Tour.

'the bicycle, the bicycle surely, should always be the vehicle of novelists and poets.'