questions and answers

I am pondering this quote from Rainer Maria Rilke ... 'have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. and the point is to live everything. live the questions now. perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.'

now that I am middle-aged (plus) I thought I would have this crazy thing called life all figured out. I would know what I wanted to be. who I wanted to be. where I wanted to be. how I wanted to be. I am blessed in every way. I lead an absolutely lovely life. I am loved. I love. so why do I still have questions strewn upon my path that I simply have no answer for.

is the right way to approach life by just 'living everything'? can we take a giant leap of faith and step boldly forward? can I remove the blinders that have held me back for fear? and when I think of it what am I afraid of? failure. success. mediocrity. apathy. responsibility. irresponsibility. happiness.

I want to live life with a spark - a 'fire in my belly' (as watermusic says). we all have so much to give. love. laughter. support. sympathy. empathy. it's exciting to think we have something to contribute. a hand. a heart. a voice. a tear. a shoulder. even, at times, a foot (for a good swift kick in the pants). things change and we have to change with it. accept what is and look for the gifts - both that can be given and received.

'I don't know where I'm going but I have to get there.'