telling tales and talking tails

I am a huge fan of Susan Wittig Albert, a local Texas author. I was introduced to her literally and communicatively at the Master Gardener Conference a few years ago where she was a speaker. she is best known for a long series of books featuring heroine China Bayles and litany of fascinating herbs.

my adoration of this author is through her other writing venue ~ The Cottage Tales of Beatrix Potter. ever since we lived in England and visited Hilltop, the country home of Ms. Potter and her pal Peter Rabbit, I have been charmed, almost haunted, by the beauty of the Lake Distict. ms. Albert tells the story of Beatrix and her life with its many trials and tribulations through the eyes of the animals that live in and around the little town of New Sawrey. she writes under the premise of intrigue and mystery as there is always something afoot in the village, but simply put the books are a delightful read. the characters are charming. the scenery blissful. and with a bit of poetic license the stories follow the true life of ms. Potter, which are heartwarming and heart wrenching.

so please excuse me as I take the next several hours and venture across the pond. there I will lose myself in a world where animals talk (in a language no humans understand); townfolk are friendly, giving and more than a little inquisitive; and love abounds.

'a book is a garden, an orchard, a storehouse, a party, a company by the way, a counsellor, a multitude of counsellors.'

questions and answers

I am pondering this quote from Rainer Maria Rilke ... 'have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. and the point is to live everything. live the questions now. perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.'

now that I am middle-aged (plus) I thought I would have this crazy thing called life all figured out. I would know what I wanted to be. who I wanted to be. where I wanted to be. how I wanted to be. I am blessed in every way. I lead an absolutely lovely life. I am loved. I love. so why do I still have questions strewn upon my path that I simply have no answer for.

is the right way to approach life by just 'living everything'? can we take a giant leap of faith and step boldly forward? can I remove the blinders that have held me back for fear? and when I think of it what am I afraid of? failure. success. mediocrity. apathy. responsibility. irresponsibility. happiness.

I want to live life with a spark - a 'fire in my belly' (as watermusic says). we all have so much to give. love. laughter. support. sympathy. empathy. it's exciting to think we have something to contribute. a hand. a heart. a voice. a tear. a shoulder. even, at times, a foot (for a good swift kick in the pants). things change and we have to change with it. accept what is and look for the gifts - both that can be given and received.

'I don't know where I'm going but I have to get there.'

how now

you have to love a weekend that ends on a Monday. it doesn't matter that this next week will be a day off. a happy consequence to pay. you have to love a weekend when it has been spent with friends. how perfect.

we ate too much. drank a bit. laughed. hugged. shopped. watched insane quantities of football. told (not too tall) tales. how fun.

a weekend like this makes me realize how sweet life is. how precious. how delicious. how fleeting. how fragile. how wonderful. how treasured.

and an extra bonus. I got a call from a girlfriend yesterday morning. we were neighbors many moons ago in Chicago. we are now only able to get together periodically. but whether we're face to face or ear to ear it is like all those years apart were mere moments. we pick up conversations where we left off. not a moment spent apart. how lovely.

yesterday the hubs and I took some time for us. we went to brunch in Austin (Galaxy Cafe at The Triangle on Lamar, highly recommended). took advantage of the 20% off sale at several Half-Price Books stores where I added to my decorating and garden book collection (soon to be housed in my 'me' room). you have to love a day when you feel like you're on vacation. how delightful.

'let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.'

and the answer is ...

I am thinking out loud today. just rambling really. but need to talk to myself and anyone out there listening.

I am tired. I am tired of questioning myself and facing innuendos. I am tired of being accused and ignored. I am tired of incurring the rath of some and the indignation of others. I take responsibility for my mistakes. no one is perfect – least of all me. I cannot name all my faults and inadequacies. but along with the responsibility is an acceptance of the gifts I have to share. there is an indescribable happiness in my life. I am loved. I am blessed. my heart is full and giving. I am good. I will not apologize for being me.

we are human and cannot forget pain or heartache easily. we hold onto it. nurture it. keep the wound open. I get that. I’ve been there. but the question I want to ask is – and in actuality scream from the mountaintop – why do we? we love each other so intensely. so thoroughly. so deeply. why can we not concentrate on the love. dismiss the fear where love is involved. if we looked inside ourselves we would see that there is nothing to fear. there is no threat. the love is there for the keeping. and equally ours to throw away – push away. the love is there reaching out for you to grab hold of – hang onto. it is our own proud decision to pull away or let go. give up a little pride and choose to be happy. accept an apology. embrace what you have.

faith teaches us to forgive. so let’s practice what we preach. forgive me. forgive yourself (that means accepting that part of the problem may be you). move forward. you can choose to forgive or punish. the question is who are you really punishing?

my no negativity friend, watermusic, wrote last week ‘when I sit in the stillness of now I am none of the things that I think I am or am afraid to be. I simply am, a child of God, whole and enough. there are no dragons to slay, no wrongs to be righted, no windmills to tilt at. there are no enemies.’ as crazy as it sounds this unknown blogging friend has helped open my eyes, unburden my heart, choose wisely.

‘so choose. it’s either fear or love baby. I’m choosing love. what about you?’

see you

as I was looking for something for the hubs and I to do in September, it would appear that we can be entertained all month long. personally, I will be celebrating on the 12th and 14th. but you may want to avoid me come the 19th.

1 Emma M. Nutt Day (first woman telephone operator)
2. VJ Day
3. Skyscraper Day
4. Newspaper Carrier Day
5. Cheese Pizza Day
6. Labor Day (or perhaps Fight Procrastination Day)
7. Neither Rain nor Snow Day
8. National Date Nut Bread Day
9. Pardon Day
10. Swap Ideas Day
11, Make Your Bed Day
12. Chocolate Milk Shake Day
13. Fortune Cookie Day
14. National Crème-Filled Donut Day
15. Felt Hat Day
16. Mayflower Day
17. POW/MIA Recognition Day or Citizenship Day
18. Oktoberfest begins or National Cheeseburger Day
19. International Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day
20. National Punch Day (followed by ...)
21. International Peace Day
22. Elephant Appreciation Day
23. Checkers Day (the board game & Nixon's dog)
24. National Cherries Jubilee Day
25. National Comic Book Day
26. International Rabbit Day (UK) or Johnny Appleseed Day (USA)
27. Crush a Can Day
28. National Good Neighbor Day
29. Confucius Day
30. National Mud Pack Day

learn more at Holiday Insights.

'happily we bask in this warm September sun which illuminates all creatures.'

grateful me

the little 'life is beautiful ... be happy' video that was posted on a friends FaceBook page gave me pause for thought. make a gratitude list. how much time do you have?

here are just a few of my favorite things. after the first five in no particular order ...

1. the hubs ~ I tell him if I were married to me I'd have been divorced a long time ago. for 32 years and counting we laugh. love. share. give. take. kiss. hug. he makes me so very happy.
2. the kiddos ~ beautiful. loving. talented. giving. sharing. simply the best presents I ever received.
3. my sister ~ we're sisters. what more do I need to say.
4. friends ~ thankfully they love me blindly.
5. dogs ~ mindy. michelle. truman. bailey. chaz. (sam & bettie, for a little while). unconditional love. they teach the lesson 'wag more. bark less.' words to live by.
6. brie and roast beef sandwiches ~ would be my last supper.
7. sun rays ~ the windows of angels.
8. my job ~ my refuge. creative environment. extended family.
9. flip flops ~ my year round indulgence.
10. capri pants ~ the only acceptable shorts for mature ladies.
11. the street ~ where I live. my little corner of heaven on earth.
12. the chi ~ where were you when I was 16?
13. quotes ~ the perfect expression when words fail me.
14. Paris ~ feeds my francophile soul.
15. ibm ~ supporting the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed.
16. porch swings ~ sooth my soul. my inner child.
17. pedicures ~ make me feel sexy.
18. Texas wildflowers ~ teach me that hope springs eternal.
19. dance lessons ~ where the world fades away in the arms of my love.
20. music ~ love out loud.

'empty pockets never held anyone back. only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.'

take a look

life is beautiful.



'Be happy
Show up
Follow your heart
Find a new perspective
Have a sense of wonder...
Find people you love...
Set goals
Help Others
Dance
Pamper yourself...
Face your fears...
Go to a museum
Exercise
Limit television
Get in touch with nature
Lighten up
Get a good night's sleep
Read books
Buy yourself flowers
Don't compare yourself with others
Don't beat yourself up
Be open to new ideas
Don't focus on negative thoughts...
...Focus on creating what you desire
Make time just to have fun
Keep the romance in your life
Make a gratitude list
Love your Mother Earth
Want what you have
Be true to yourself.'

gonna work on that gratitude list. next blog.

'grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. it's a way to live.'