crayola outlook

I've been meaning to write for the past few days. I start. then stop. delete. repeat.

truth is my mind is blank. but not black & white. filled with projects. thoughts. to-dos. wants. needs. wishes. I just can't pick a spot to begin. I know. at the beginning. but I am way past that these days. there is no beginning, just in process. and it is ever so easy to procrastinate. plenty of time until a deadline looms.

my mission for today is to make start a list. more like a notebook. one of those composition books that you cannot tear the pages out of without being noticed. will that help me see where I've been. plot my course. check off the list. goodness I hope so.

I am not without purpose. goals. missions. I have faith. hope. love. I need a bit of focus. and a pen.

'Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the eight-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I've got a few missing. It's okay though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal.'

things I learn (in no particular order)

how life can change in an instant. a decision. a phone call. a random thought.

I get these revelations. whether from a rampant imagination or a deed done. some are over analyzed. some are hastily acted upon. some sit and stew. all remain swirling around in my head. my heart. ready to leap to the front of the line at any given moment.

today has been one of those days. I sit in my little back room. the windows open. the flower stalks swaying in the breeze. the sun filtering through the trees. the music on my iPod blasting through the house (the playlist from darling daughter's wedding. big sigh.)

I try to learn from my activities. actions. accounts. Chatting at the Sky does a list of things she learns each month. I like that. life lessons.

what have I learned today?

- my decision reminded me how deeply we can love.
- my phone call friend reminded me how wonderful it is that after years of marriage we can still be so in sync.
- my random thought reminded me that distance is a not such a big deal.

'mama said there'll be days like this. there'll be days like this my mama said.'

words with friends

between traveling and the hubs being out of town I have spent a bit of time the past month reading. I am to the point in my literary career that if I don't like a book I give it up. and that philosophy seems to serve me well. it is hard to recommend books - such a personal preference. but these titles are worth remembering. (partial list of all-time favorites. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society. Canary Row. The Night Circus.)

the fault in our stars. John Green
I read this in a day (plus well into the wee hours of the morning). with a few breaks to regain my composure and get a new box of kleenx. I clung to it as I returned it to the library. not wanting to say goodbye.

the 100 year old man who climbed out the window and disappeared. Jonas Jonasson
simply delightful. a bit of historic fiction with a wonderful twist.

eleanor & park. Rainbow Rowell
boy meets girl. he said she said format. utterly sweet. please write a sequel. the aforementioned John Green wrote 'reminded me not just what it’s like to be young and in love with a girl, but also what it’s like to be young and in love with a book.'


'the test of a good novel is dreading to begin the last chapter.'

35

'every love story is beautiful but ours is my favorite.'

thank full

we've just returned from an extended stay with the kiddos. when we arrived we had three. now there are four. such a delightful number.

there is so much to be thankful for this mother's day. and every day.

'grown don't mean nothing to a mother. a child is a child. they get bigger, older, but grown? what's that suppose to mean? in my heart it don't mean a thing.'

pinwheel

my head is full of possibility these days. maybes. what ifs. just becauses. filled with ideas of grandeur. and of lazy days. moments. found. lost.

there is much to do. much to enjoy. regrets linger. lost in a daydream. so real. lonely. lovely. so close. too far. right in the palm of my hand.

I pray for patience. strength. focus. I give thanks for health. happiness. love. I have faith. I love. am loved.

I try. I fail. I get up. and down. I worry. wonder. fret. presume. ponder. plan. pray.

I babble. sensibly. eloquently. hysterically. routinely.

And oh I blog. to remember. to share. to savor.

(can you tell) I am a bit disjointed these days. spinning. spiraling. soaring. I have a terrible sense of direction.

'there are joys which long to be ours.'

baby mine

at 9:02 am this morning, baby boy Wyatt was born. 6 pounds, 8 ounces. 19 3/4". all are doing beautifully.

'you're so precious to me, sweet as can be. baby of mine.'